CHOICES…

"I can’t understand how anyone can paint their house red. I would never have used this color!” “Classical music … I can’t stand listening to it!” No doubt one can add to this list of likes and dislikes. How true the saying, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”

These differing tastes reflect the freedom of choice one has, that makes life more interesting. How monotonous life would be if every person had exactly the same taste and preference in everything! Insisting on doing things one’s own way may result in abuse of freedom or becoming critical of others.

We have the power to mould our thinking, and because each one of us makes up our mind differently, we each have a distinct personality. Differences in viewpoint can cause some to make varied choices. For example, music composers have only a limited number of notes to work with, yet the possibilities for making beautiful music are endless. Hence, people can make numerous choices in a given set of limitations. By respecting their choices, one can avoid making major issues over minor matters.

If one’s pride or ‘personal honour’ becomes a big thing in life, then personal offences will make one unhappy and resentful. Overlooking petty slights will be easier if one chooses to have good relations with others. The right choice will result in peace, happiness and contentment.

Sometimes, a person never seems to be able to make up his mind on any matter. This continual state of hesitancy is an indication of mental weakness. Such a person always intends to live a new life, make a fresh start, but never finds the time to go about it.

Personality, temperament, even life choices – some claim its mostly in our genes. Others feel that poor parenting has somehow condemned them to an unhappy life. They may feel doomed to repeat their parents’ mistakes, to act on their worst impulses – in short, to make bad choices.

These notions have one message in common – one has little choice, little control over how one’s life turns out to be. But we are not helpless victims and neither are we doomed to failure. One can make the right choices to prevent future difficulties.

Many may have obstacles to overcome- may be a life time of bad habits and wrong influences that can distort one’s thinking. Still, sweeping changes are possible since we are not mere automations or robots but are responsible for our actions.

Unseen under a coat of paint, rust can begin to corrode an object made of iron. It may take time for the rust to become visible. Similarly, one’s attitudes may begin causing harm to oneself before it results in consequences or is even noticed by others. Making timely changes by re-evaluating matters results in benefits.

Choosing a course of action based on a momentary flare-up of anger can never be the right one. When calm, we may alter our opinion about others. Many are so wrapped up in their daily affairs that they give no thought to where they are headed. From time to time, it’s best to think: ‘Am I happy with the direction my life is taking? Are my choices leading me to where I really want to go?’

When it comes to choices regarding goods, services and employment, logic might suggest that greater freedom of choice leads to greater satisfaction. But for some it is not so.

One’s attitude toward choices affect happiness. Some put much time and effort into making the best possible choice by examining new products and exploring the alternative range of options. There are those who aim for “good enough” and stop looking when they find an item or product that meets their needs.

Overwhelming choices contribute to the epidemic of unhappiness spreading all around. Choice related stress can be reduced by restricting our options when a decision is not crucial and settling for a choice that meets one’s core requirements rather than searching for the elusive ‘best.’

Life’s journey presents us with many choices. Some ignore good advice when it does not fit their personal preference. Surely, it is best to try to find out or contemplate what is at the end of any road before we take the first step. Many have bitterly regretted choices they have made. Have we ever said – ‘If only I had known how this was going to turn out…’ Still, no one can deny that life is all about the small or big choices we make.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED BY THE AUTHOR ARE PERSONAL

Rekha Kumar, The writer is a work-life balance and leadership skills facilitator [email protected]