VIRTUALLY PRIVATE

1...2…5…10…53…247 As the number of ‘likes’ on any of my posts increases on Facebook and Instagram, my excitement mounts. I can’t wait to see how far it goes. My pulse races. My heart pounds. How many people and who all have found my latest picture, or my most recent comment, cool? This feeling used to come to me ten years ago, and not much has changed since. We all crave acceptance and validation. I’m 42 years old, and I crave your acceptance, wondering if you liked my last column. You may be 12, 15, or 17. Different things define what makes you feel good. Social media though, is what unites us in our measure of self-worth. Nothing wrong with that. But hey, can I tell you a little secret?

About five years back my Facebook account got hacked. I tried and I tried to convince the administrators at Facebook that it was indeed I who was trying to retrieve my account through my alternative email account. They just wouldn’t listen. I had lost everything. Years of memories, photographs, special moments, opinions, stories and posts. Gone. ALL taken away from me in a flash by some hacker who probably found one little statement of mine, offensive.

That’s when I realized that being on social media, voicing one’s thoughts, and sharing one’s life online, is well and good. But there are some very simple ways in which we can all ensure that we do not risk ourselves and our families. But first, we must understand what these risks are.

RISKS

• Your account might be hacked
• You might be targeted by trolls and harsh comments might be said about you and your statements
• You might expose yourself and your loved ones to some psychologically disturbed people who may stalk you, follow you, and try to contact you and trouble you. You may give away too much information about your location, address, where you live, your social status which might solicit the wrong kind of attention from people who might want to take advantage of that
• Finally, with the latest data leaks that we have all been reading about, we might expose too much information about ourselves that might harm us socially, financially and in many other ways

WHY
The simple answer to this is that we may be one united human race but as a species that has this little thing called ‘free will’, we are all different in our thinking, philosophies, world views, morality, and what we consider right and wrong. If to me Djokovic is the world’s greatest tennis player, you might not agree. You may think it is Nadal or Federer. And if I was to get into an argument with you about it at school, who knows, we might even come to blows if each of us is very passionately opinionated on the issue. This brings me to the simple ways of being online, but with a little privacy and caution.

WAYS
1. In an overall sense, think of your social media and online existence just as you would, your daily real-world one. Let me explain what I mean. If you met a stranger at the bus stop who asked you where you lived, would you tell that person? Probably, not right? Similarly, we have to exercise the same basic logic, online
2. Voice your opinions. I am not for a minute suggesting not doing that. It is great to be bold and champion causes we feel strongly about. But do it politely. Remember how our country gained its independence?
3. Be well informed. Let’s say there’s some debate brewing on one of your social media sights that your school principal might be leaving. First, find out the facts, then, if at all, add to the discussion. Participating as one unit of a herd is a mentality that leads to chaos, rumour-mongering, and confusion which can, at times lead to fights, the spread of misinformation that has catastrophic consequences
4. Be sensitive. Let’s say my pet dog has met with a terrible accident and I am at the vet’s clinic with him. I share an update on social media. Without even thinking about the gravity of the situation, I will have 50 likes in a matter of minutes. Only 2 people will say something that is helpful or sensitive to the situation. Does it make sense to ‘like’ this situation?
5. Lastly, be discreet. With pictures, personal information and points of view. Just like in the real world if we wanted to really have a serious, meaningful conversation about something, we would do it in private. If you feel you are starting to get agitated or disagree strongly with something or someone’s opinion – breathe. Be polite. It never hurts to say something like “I respect your opinion but I beg to differ.” And then take the conversation to a private space. Maybe on Messenger where it is just you and that one more person. Better still, meet or call up or email the person.

Social Media and the worldwide internet are an absolute boon. It has connected the world for the better, be it for commerce, business, culture, sharing, or emergency assistance. So let us use it responsibly to our benefit, as a mature tool to make ourselves heard and to build up our profiles and uniqueness. We are all special individuals. We don’t need to follow. If only we exercise a little virtual privacy, we can be leaders.